A few weeks ago, I went to our 25 acre farm in WV. My plans were to have a heathful time of eating veggies, Bible reading, and prayer to finish my healing process from the cancer. There I was enjoying nature and the beauty of the WV hills as well as my times of listening to Bible tapes and the good healthy food.
Much to my surprise, I noticed a lump under my arm and then in my breast, both near the original cancer site. I waited until my husband came for the weekend so he could confirm it, which he did.
From my reading, I understand that the medical community does not offer hope once the cancer has metastasized beyond the breast. They will do surgery, chemo, etc but not as a cure.
Because of what I felt was God's leading (the events that I spoke of in my last blog), I felt definitively that I did not want further destruction to my body. I want to build my immune system and let my body fight off the invader.
I shared this desire for no further treatment with my family members and close friends, telling them that I felt it was a waste to see the doctor as I felt the lumps had to be cancer because of their proximity to the first site. My family had varied reactions but almost universal was their desire for me to see the doctor.
Because of this I went to see the doctor this week instead of in June when it was scheduled. After an exam, a mammogram, and an ultrasound, it was determined that I have fluid filled cysts and nothing of concern.
Needless to say, I am thanking God. The huge specter of active cancer is no longer looming over me.
In the midst of all of this, I received the DVD's that I ordered as a result of the events in my last blog. They are by Dr Lorraine Day. In them she purports radical nutritional changes, including no meat, and a diet of only veggies and fruit and fresh juice plus limited whole grains and almonds. She allows no sweeteners of any kind and no processed foods. This seemed not unreasonable to me at all when I was staring death in the face. Actually it still seems reasonable to me.
I have been juicing (with my husband) 10 pounds of organic carrots a day. I am turning a little orange. In truth, I love this diet. I am never hungry and the food is so satisfying. The sugar cravings are much better-- although I admit meat and coffee still smell great. Dr Day also proposes a very low fat diet in terms of eating minimal olive oil and only a few almonds. She has many other specifics and reasons for each instruction.
Dr Day had stage 4 breast cancer with metastasis to the bone, muscle and lymphatics. Her tumor was grapefruit size. At one point she was literally at death's door, unable to keep down any food or fluid. She had tried the nutritional program that she encourages but it had not worked for her. She then began a full program which she calls the 10 health commandments including much time in the Bible and prayer. She goes into this in her video "You Can't Improve on God".
I also bought the workbook that goes with this. She expounds on her thelogical beliefs which are not conventional at all. I do not agree with her on her thinking but I found it interesting reading.
Her medical and nutrtional advice made great sense to me. I also agreed that healing cannot be accomplished apart from God and his Word.
So here I am turning orange and trying to change a lifetime of habits and loving it. I am trying also to establish new habits in feeding my spirit.
Because God has been with me every step of the way, I feel this is a joyful journey. I still feel that all of this is for my good and the good of my family. I am excitedly anticipating the good things that God will bring about from this adventure.
The 2 verses that have been with me are "Though He slay me, yet I will trust Him." from Job, and "If I perish, I perish" from Esther. They sound morbid but in truth they are a great comfort to me.
The knowledge that when everything else is stripped away the foundation is rock solid is hugely comforting. In spite of this, there are three things that are not comfortable. 1.)The propect of coming face to face with God brings trembling. In no way am I ready for that except that Christ will cover me and hide my shortcomings and failures. The thought of being with God paradoxically brings great joy. I know that the greatest joys in my life won't compare to being with God. 2.)The process of dying itself is such an unknown. 3.) And lastly leaving Lee behind would be like cutting out my heart. He is my heart.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Preparation for Bad News
Yesterday I went to take some genotyping info to my GP. It is a blood test that can be done to determine if your liver has the enzymes to metabolize a specific medication. (Genotyping can be done for other things too, but this is my application.) I want to know if the Tamoxifen I am taking to inhibit estrogen will do me any good.
While I was there, I got a copy of the reports the oncologists sent to my doctor. They were much more dire than the reports my oncologists gave me. Essentially, they said that because of the family history of cancer, the grade of cancer(3-at the aggressive end of the scale), the estrogen negativity, and the opposite side site of atypical hyperplasia, I am at significant risk of recurrence. If recurrence happens anywhere but the same site, they basically consider it to be terminal cancer.
If I had this report 2 days earlier, I would have been devastated. However, because of God's intervention on Tues (see my last blog), I still feel hopeful.
Before Tuesday, I had an underlying feeling that the cancer would come back and kill me. I cannot say for sure that it still won't happen, but now I feel overwhelmingly optimistic.
The physical tip and the spiritual tip coincide today. God is in charge of your adventure. Take it a day at a time and trust that He has a customized plan for you.
While I was there, I got a copy of the reports the oncologists sent to my doctor. They were much more dire than the reports my oncologists gave me. Essentially, they said that because of the family history of cancer, the grade of cancer(3-at the aggressive end of the scale), the estrogen negativity, and the opposite side site of atypical hyperplasia, I am at significant risk of recurrence. If recurrence happens anywhere but the same site, they basically consider it to be terminal cancer.
If I had this report 2 days earlier, I would have been devastated. However, because of God's intervention on Tues (see my last blog), I still feel hopeful.
Before Tuesday, I had an underlying feeling that the cancer would come back and kill me. I cannot say for sure that it still won't happen, but now I feel overwhelmingly optimistic.
The physical tip and the spiritual tip coincide today. God is in charge of your adventure. Take it a day at a time and trust that He has a customized plan for you.
Divine appointments
I had an appt, I thought, at the church on Tues. It turned out I had mixed things up.
Happily, and I think providentially, I ran into a man there. I told him about my breast cancer and the healing retreat I have planned for a month at our farm vacation home. He told me of a woman, Judi, who had breast cancer and used nutrition as well as scripture and prayer to let God heal her without surgery, chemo or radiation.
I gave her a call and was told of her story and what she did as well as a resource to use.
She told me of Dr Lorraine Day and her books and tapes at drday.com. I have ordered them, but from what Judi told me I know I am on the right track.
As a bonus, it was worked out so that I was able to keep my appt at the church and the elder I spoke to gave me more resources--2 area oncologists who have nutritional counseling as part of their practices.
I felt so encouraged because not only do I feel like I am getting the info I need, but also, it showed me how compassionate God is to arrange these happy God incidents like hooking up with Judi and getting the names of doctors who can help in this nutritional journey.
This seems like it is all on the spiritual side today but it is not. God is concerned about every detail in our lives and I believe he arranges what we need for body, soul and spirit. We just need to remember to ask. Also we need to remember, he may not answer in the way we prescribe.
Happily, and I think providentially, I ran into a man there. I told him about my breast cancer and the healing retreat I have planned for a month at our farm vacation home. He told me of a woman, Judi, who had breast cancer and used nutrition as well as scripture and prayer to let God heal her without surgery, chemo or radiation.
I gave her a call and was told of her story and what she did as well as a resource to use.
She told me of Dr Lorraine Day and her books and tapes at drday.com. I have ordered them, but from what Judi told me I know I am on the right track.
As a bonus, it was worked out so that I was able to keep my appt at the church and the elder I spoke to gave me more resources--2 area oncologists who have nutritional counseling as part of their practices.
I felt so encouraged because not only do I feel like I am getting the info I need, but also, it showed me how compassionate God is to arrange these happy God incidents like hooking up with Judi and getting the names of doctors who can help in this nutritional journey.
This seems like it is all on the spiritual side today but it is not. God is concerned about every detail in our lives and I believe he arranges what we need for body, soul and spirit. We just need to remember to ask. Also we need to remember, he may not answer in the way we prescribe.
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